FIND AN IMAGO PROFESSIONAL IN SRI LANKA
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Imago Relationship Therapy, developed by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. HelenStyle LaKelly Hunt in 1980, is a form of relationship and couples therapy that focuses on transforming conflict into healing and growth through relational connection.
There is frequently a connection between frustrations in adult relationships and early childhood experiences. Childhood feelings of abandonment, suppression or neglect will often arise in a marriage or committed relationship. When such “core issues” repeatedly come up with a partner, they can overshadow all that is good in a relationship and leave one to wonder whether he or she has chosen the right mate.
Through Imago Relationship Therapy, couples can understand each other’s feelings and “childhood wounds” more empathically, allowing them to heal themselves and their relationships and move toward a more “Conscious Relationship.”
As illustrated in Dr. Hendrix’s New York Times bestselling book, Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, learning and teaching the “Imago Dialogue” allows couples to move from blame and reactivity, to understanding and empathy, so they can create a deeper and loving connection with each other.
Dear friends of healthy relationships let me introduce myself. I am Gene Shelly an Imago therapist and trainer for over 35 years in the United States. In 2009 I spent a week in Sri Lanka introducing Imago concepts about helping couples have the relationship of their dreams. Since that time, I have taught, supervised and nurtured several therapists in Sri Lanka. One outstanding Imago therapist in Sri Lanka who has been in a mentoring relationship with me for over 10 years is Nilu Fernandopulle and he has achieved the certification as a “Certified Imago Therapist.
Imago is a therapy and a belief that partners have been drawn into couplehood for many reasons, but a major one is for an unconscious reason to repair and recover one or more childhood emotional unmet needs. Children usually have to give up desiring some common features like feeling safe or wanting parents to validate or listen to them. And frequently the family context is so painful, abusive and unsafe that children are majorly traumatized and this leaves deep emotional wounds.
So we believe that repair can really take place in an adult love relationship through the use of the Imago Dialogue. Here we use this listening exercise to help each partner “listen” carefully to their partner and listen deeply so we can understand how our partner understands their own needs and frustrations. Since most humans have the capacity to listen, it takes a conscious awareness to pay attention and understand. Then empathy can begin.
Eugene Shelly, M.Div.
40 S. Penn Hall Dr.,
Chambersburg PA 17201